Hi Brad, Just my thoughts as I read, The questions of where did I go wrong – just use it the once The dialogue is really heavy – needs cut You really need to rework this dialogue He tosses is bag in back and gets in the back seat. Cly shuts the back and gets in and starts the car back on the axis road towards the highway. – and your action lines – could you use ‘back’ anymore here?

Title Reviewed: Western Retribution
Reviewed by: seamusbr

This story was very well written. I felt the emotion of the character as the story was told through the eyes of the victim. What I loved about the story was the info on the main characters girlfriend.

Title Reviewed: This Bad in El Paso
Reviewed by: Brunetm

Hey congratulations on this little ditty. Very cute and I especially like the egg falling sequence. If I had any construction criticism at all, it'd be that I think the angles could have been a little more dynamic.

Title Reviewed: Stop-Motion Biscuit Cake
Reviewed by: ovalteens

I can only respect someone who clearly put so much time into his/her screenplay as you clearly have. There were very few typos or grammar mistakes, so kudos for that. The problem for me is that there wasn't much of a movie here.

Title Reviewed: The New American Dream
Reviewed by: Jnasty1979

I liked how you set up the movie: the sequence was a very logic one and the text clear and precise. There was no sound, but even if I expected at least some sound, it didn't bother. However I agree with the message (we should be more considerate to drug users), I strongly disagree with using insuline to portray it.

Title Reviewed: User
Reviewed by: Tesssa

This was a somewhat layered story that made for an interesting read. I'll jump to specifics now An observation I can clearly make judging from the writing style is that you translate into writing what you see visually.

Title Reviewed: The Lament (rev)
Reviewed by: rz_sain

Hi david, Just my thoughts as I read, I like what you are doing – write 12 scripts to see if you can do it – this tells me you’re serious about the craft – and not one of these fuckwits that think they will write one script and make a million – I did the same thing – when I started writing I forced myself to write 12 scripts in my first year – which I did… maybe one or two of the scripts I’ve kept developing – the rest are garbage! Let’s see how you are doing… I like the premise – it’s fresh-ish. Plenty of room for laughs – I don’t think your dialogue or pace is up to standard yet, but you ain’t a mug either.

Title Reviewed: OLDER AND WISER
Reviewed by: seamusbr

First, thanks for writing a very fun script. I like the superhero genre, so this was a fun read. However, I still think the script needs a bit of work.

Title Reviewed: Romulus-First Draft
Reviewed by: stevenroy

I appreciate someone writing about the horror of this particular problem. Not being an expert on the subject I can say the story seems very convincing. The writing makes the story very real.

Title Reviewed: Red Gold
Reviewed by: kristoferatkinson

I absolutely laughed my ass off reading this script, it was a total blast. Awesome job. I’m sure you are aware of what you have here, a pro script ready for market, so I won’t waste time on anymore compliments.

Title Reviewed: BOSS OF ME - (2nd Draft)
Reviewed by: Michael Price

This was a different story than from what I'm used to. This was a different take on the idea of angels and mortals. First off I do like the idea of starting off with an action scene.

Title Reviewed: The Archangel
Reviewed by: friendgm

Not sure if this particular piece is a stand alone episode as it says episode 2. However, based on what I saw as well as the opening text stating Tales from the Lab, I have to assume this is something akin to Tales from the Crypt, with every episode being it's own isolated story. That's the predication I'll be writing this review under.

Title Reviewed: Till Death Do Us Part
Reviewed by: trizzah1

I was kind of in the mood for a light crazy comedy and this one fits the bill. It's a high concept type of comedy and while I think it doesn't quite hold up at the end, it's certainly entertaining enough to possibly work. This is the type of film that could end up making some money or becoming a franchise ...

Title Reviewed: Douche Patrol
Reviewed by: jayelveejr

Ok, so let me explain my title. I was interested in the concept of a music loving hitman. A mix of Gross Pointe Blank and High Fidelity.

Title Reviewed: Albumology - Reprise
Reviewed by: TheFutureSpeaks

I really like the title, the music and the story. The music isn't too complicated or too obviously creating suspense. The title is interesting and it doesn't give away too many clues of what is about to happen, but enough to keep the viewer interested.

Title Reviewed: Reeled In
Reviewed by: Tesssa

Though this is a good solid read - I feel that this piece struggles because this ground has been trodden on far too much recently. The question is with the the mass of new zombie films - what ground hasnt been covered? The characters are well-rounded but in my humble opinion they do not stand out enough.

Title Reviewed: SkaterBoys of Zombie Island
Reviewed by: elysiumfilms

I'm not very deep, and your vocabulary is better than mine, so a lot of this went over my head. However, I really enjoyed a lot of this story. I loved the descriptions of people and places and feelings.

Title Reviewed: The Hard Choice
Reviewed by: vieira4

Though the concept is fairly strong and fresh (the main character discovering his own feelings through experiences with the distant past), the execution is harmed by the occasionally forced and over the top treatment of some of the characters. The plot and dialogue comes dangerously close to drifting into cliche. The earnest war protesters (who are never wrong or doubting their own point of view), the brave warrior who is holding on too tight, the wounded who would rather die than go on.

Title Reviewed: The Iboga Visions (Redraft)
Reviewed by: schmoop

First of all, I LOVED the story. Really great. I think it might have been better filed under the screenplay section, but that's OK. I can't quite work out why Aiden didn't follow at the end, but I think that's one of those cool mystery things.

Title Reviewed: Alone
Reviewed by: vieira4

I must start by saying; never did I think that this genre of a screenplay from Triggerstreet would catch my eye as much as it did. With that being said, thus far, this Screenplay has been the best I've read since joining the site! Concept - I cannot say that I felt the concept was completely original.

Title Reviewed: There She Is
Reviewed by: Robmor19